Article on Modern Romance

Right now, it looks like I may finally be on the horizon of something a therapist would call a “healthy sexual relationship.”  I decided to take a chance and go for a guy who has shown interest in me for about a year.  I tried hooking him up with a friend, and I did hook up with one of his friends, who was a jackass.  I don’t know what changed my mind.  One day I sent him a joke about a self-help book ordering me to wear a teddy, and we hooked up the next weekend.  We’ve been talking ever since.  If it was anyone else, I would have been annoyed by the number of messages and constant updates.  With him, it’s adorable.  He’s cooking dinner for me Friday night, and he said he was dying to take me out on a date, so we’re also going to dinner and a concert Saturday.  If everything goes well, this will probably be the best guy I have ever dated.

Here is an article from a NY Times writer that describes almost every other dating experience I ever had:

Millenials Guide to Kissing Article


stirring the pot

I feel kind of bad for being a shit starter last night.  One of my friends dated a girl for a while, and he said he found out she was cheating on him.  He broke up with her, and now she is sort of seeing another guy I know.  When I ran into my friend last week, he was still receiving hate messages from her.  She sent a page’s worth of messages that night–he let me read some of it on his phone.  Last night, I was talking to the guy she is seeing, and he said she told him they broke up because my friend was cheating on her.  I don’t know who is telling the truth, but what I know about both of them points to my friend being the injured party.  I never saw him out with anyone other than his now ex-girlfriend, and they quit dating several months ago.

Anyway, apparently the guy she is sort of dating now–my other friend–said her Tinder account is still open, too.  It’s a bunch of crazy stuff.  I hope I don’t run into her again.  Also, I think I will work harder on keeping my mouth shut.  Nothing good will come of me telling my other friend about her bad behavior–the witnessed or rumored.  It’s better not to mention it.

Shared Brutal Rejection Issues with you on Tapastic

Hey! I thought you might enjoy the comic
Also, the guy I liked said he wasn’t interested. He was pretty upfront about it, which is good & bad. I had a feeling he wasn’t interested, but I had to ask to be sure.  Sure, I had a crush on him.  I was looking forward to possibly being with someone for a little while, but I don’t think it was really heading in a long-term direction even if he had said yes. We shouldn’t have hooked up. He’s a nice guy, & what I mistook for flirting was him being friendly. People have done the same thing with me. Now is my turn to be rejected.

On my mind

I keep thinking about how to ask him if he likes me. I’m waiting until I see him in person tomorrow.  I want to know now, but I keep reminding myself that it will be better to wait.  It feels like a big part of me is worried he will say he isn’t interested. It happened other times when I asked people. I know I could still be friends with him if he wants to just be friends, but it would be nice if the conversation goes differently.
I think worrying about tomorrow is also a new way for me to delay working on my paper.

Personal thoughts on love

As an aside to the “What is love” series this week, here are my personal thoughts on what it means to like or love someone.

When you tell someone you like them, it should be because you want more than a “one and done” fling.  You want to be with that person–not all of the time in a stalker-crazy type of way, but in the “I want to know more about you and spend time with you” way.  I think telling one person you like him or her, then telling five other people you like them at the same time nullifies your words.  Wanting to date–or whatever you want to call sleeping together and sometimes spending time together–several people at once means you don’t really care about any of them.  You only care about your own interests.  I know some people say this isn’t true, but, in my experience, it is.  You might not want to admit it, but it is.  If a person doesn’t want to explore anything besides “casual dating” or “hooking up,” then he or she shouldn’t claim to like the other person in more than a casual way.  To me, there is no such thing as developing a personal connection with someone, when you’re constantly texting other people for dates and trying to pick up people everywhere you go.

My friends and I were talking about dating the other day–not dating each other, dating in general.  I mentioned that I don’t really like traditional dating.  It isn’t that I don’t like it so much as I am generally uncomfortable with the people who have asked me on dates.  Actually, it does make me a little uncomfortable because both parties are supposed to have some sort of expectations, and why the hell should anyone expect anything? (sort of joking)

Anyway, I keep thinking about it off and on, and I think one of the reasons I don’t like it is I want to be able to ask a guy I like out myself.  True, it would mean opening myself up to rejection, but I hate having to wait for someone else to ask.  Some people never will, even if they do like you and you give them all the openings in the world.

A friend shared this on Facebook, and I thought it was hilarious.  Of course, it’s “just in time for Valentine’s day” 😛 :

31 Perfect Valentines for unromantic people