One of my old coworkers decided to tell me her opinion on my weight the other day. I tried not to let it affect me, but it did. She said she thought I looked very slim the other day, unlike the last time she saw me, when she thought I was “getting pudgy again.” I think the other woman in the office cringed. I chose not to react negatively, and I answered her questions about what I did to lose weight by saying that yes, I do exercise and try to eat well in order to maintain a certain weight. I told a friend about the incident, and I hoped telling someone would purge it from my mind. It didn’t.
Granted, I know this woman has a problem with weight. She is a slender person who is obsessed with weight loss and maintenance. One of my cousins and her mother are also obsessed with weight loss and weight gain prevention–the mother has been diagnosed with anorexia. While I do slip from time to time, I work hard to stay healthy and not overindulge in junk food.
People do ask if I have lost weight. It’s a general observation. I understand some people say it as a compliment if they think a person looks slim or if they are wearing a complimentary outfit. However, my former coworker went out of her way to give me a summary of how she thought my weight fluctuated. It didn’t change that much. I am a small person. If I gain or lose five pounds, or if I wear an ill-fitting garment, it shows. Even three pounds looks like a significant change. Anyway, my point is it was inappropriate. While talking about people isn’t the best idea either, comments about how a person looked fat the other day should not be directed at the person. If you absolutely have to say something to them or anyone else, say it away from a crowd. You’re embarrassing them and yourself. Please try to keep the comments to “You look nice today” or, if you must mention weight, “You look so thin”–then stop. Elaborating can only make things worse.