Right or Wrong

Maybe I don’t have to prove I am right.  I think it’s part of why I keep focusing on what happened between me and my neighbor.  I feel like I have to tell him what a jerk he is to stand up for myself & prove I am right, when he has been told he is a jerk before and never listened or changed his ways.  Not being around him as much will help, but what I need to realize is there is no right way to insult someone.  Holding on to my negative aggression towards him hurts me more than anyone else.  It can still be true that I felt betrayed, despite my knowledge of his character.  I have plenty of real concerns without focusing on transient things like feeling disgust for someone I slept with who doesn’t care about women.  I can imagine explaining how I felt or what I thought or currently think to him all I want, but it will slow me down and weigh on my spirit.  I’m sure I will continue to think about what happened from time to time.  I just need it to fade away into the noise.

What is love, part 4

“there is a loneliness in this world so great
that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.

people so tired
mutilated
either by love or no love.

people just are not good to each other
one on one.

the rich are not good to the rich
the poor are not good to the poor.

we are afraid.

our educational system tells us
that we can all be
big-ass winners.

it hasn’t told us
about the gutters
or the suicides.

or the terror of one person
aching in one place
alone

untouched
unspoken to

watering a plant.”
Charles Bukowski, Love is a Dog from Hell

Personal thoughts on love

As an aside to the “What is love” series this week, here are my personal thoughts on what it means to like or love someone.

When you tell someone you like them, it should be because you want more than a “one and done” fling.  You want to be with that person–not all of the time in a stalker-crazy type of way, but in the “I want to know more about you and spend time with you” way.  I think telling one person you like him or her, then telling five other people you like them at the same time nullifies your words.  Wanting to date–or whatever you want to call sleeping together and sometimes spending time together–several people at once means you don’t really care about any of them.  You only care about your own interests.  I know some people say this isn’t true, but, in my experience, it is.  You might not want to admit it, but it is.  If a person doesn’t want to explore anything besides “casual dating” or “hooking up,” then he or she shouldn’t claim to like the other person in more than a casual way.  To me, there is no such thing as developing a personal connection with someone, when you’re constantly texting other people for dates and trying to pick up people everywhere you go.

Hello again, pt 2

I keep hearing and finding guys who use Tinder and other hook-up/dating apps.  Most of the time, I hear them say, “I’d do her,” or “Omg, dude, look at her face (in the not complimentary way).”  Yes, there are women who do the exact same thing, and the very first step to anything is mutual physical attraction.  It’s hard to say what is a good or bad use of dating “skills.”  I have trouble saying yes to people.  Some people have trouble saying no, even if they like and are involved with someone else.  Eventually, I might go on one of those sites, but, as of right now, I don’t want anything to do with them.  I would prefer to continue hooking up with people I like and meet face to face and might be a lying sack versus someone who is a dick online.

Also, I’m working on a song.  When it’s a bit better, I might post a link to the video.