Pretentious city dwellers

I went to a bar the other night and visited with a couple of friends.  One of them mentioned he walked from his house to the bar, and, surprised, I said, “You walked?”  We live near each other, and I thought it would be safer to drive because of people following a person to or from the bar.  Also, as a woman, I have had issues with strange people harassing me on my way to campus during the day, much less walking there at night by myself.  Upon reflection, I realized it was possible to take main roads to the bar without passing a lot of bad areas, but at the time it didn’t seem like a good idea.  It still doesn’t sound like a great idea if you’re by yourself, but it isn’t completely terrible.  Anyway, after my exclamation, both guys look at each other and start talking about how plebeian our town is and how people in New Orleans know how to walk everywhere and don’t use their cars for everything.  I was insulted.  I probably walk and exercise more than both of them put together, and I’ve walked miles going from one place to another during the day.  I simply prefer to be safe and not open myself up to stalkers and creeps at night by walking around by myself.  It sounds paranoid, but I have had issues with them just walking to and from my car.  Also, if I’m in heels, I don’t want to walk a lot.  At the time, I thought about saying something.  Instead, I kept my mouth shut, and the moment passed.  I know they’re good guys and didn’t mean to be so insulting.  They were expressing their opinion on a subject.  They expressed it in an asshole-y way, but, hey, I know my statements about various subjects don’t always smell like roses.

Other than that moment and a couple of hairline wrinkles, I had a good time last night.  Now, back to working on school stuff.  I might go out again tonight and catch up with someone else, and I’m pretty sure some people are coming over tomorrow night, so I really really need to focus now.  I can’t wait to be done with school again.

Reducing I and Increasing You

I don’t know if it’s true, but it feels like the bits I am adding to conversations have been focused on events beginning with “I,” instead of conversation pieces about something else.  Anyway, I’m trying to be less self-centered and monitor my inputs to conversations again.  Of course, what people know and understand generally begins with their own perspective, but I think it might behoove me to rework some phrases without the “I did” or “my family” etc. etc.

I forgot about this earlier, but another thing I do is I start thinking the reason someone isn’t talking to me or seems odd when I do talk to them is because I did something wrong.  I don’t always jump to this conclusion, but it does happen sometimes, especially if I think I did something stupid or said something wrong the last time we met.  This is a completely self-centered way to consider the situation, and people’s issues are rarely with the person they see–unless, of course, an actual reason for someone to be upset with you exists.

I want to ask people if something is wrong if they look upset, but I also don’t want to be nosy.  I am kind of a nosy person, so I might still ask.  However, if I think it might upset them when I ask what’s wrong, I do my best to mind my own business and change the subject.

My friends and I were talking about dating the other day–not dating each other, dating in general.  I mentioned that I don’t really like traditional dating.  It isn’t that I don’t like it so much as I am generally uncomfortable with the people who have asked me on dates.  Actually, it does make me a little uncomfortable because both parties are supposed to have some sort of expectations, and why the hell should anyone expect anything? (sort of joking)

Anyway, I keep thinking about it off and on, and I think one of the reasons I don’t like it is I want to be able to ask a guy I like out myself.  True, it would mean opening myself up to rejection, but I hate having to wait for someone else to ask.  Some people never will, even if they do like you and you give them all the openings in the world.

A friend shared this on Facebook, and I thought it was hilarious.  Of course, it’s “just in time for Valentine’s day” 😛 :

31 Perfect Valentines for unromantic people

Hyperactive Whoopsie

I decided to have a cafe au lait around 4 p.m. today after drinking at the grocery store.  Yes, the grocery store.  Apparently, the Whole Foods in my town has a small bar in it, so my mom and I decided to have a drink before we finished shopping.  It was an experience.  Later, we went downtown to find a violin shop my mom wanted to see and go to a cafe for a few.  I decided to have an au lait because “I can handle caffeine now and will be capable of sleeping later.”

Instead, I start getting a little jittery at the cafe after a few sips–partially because I ran into one of my neighbors and his mom, and I thought I sounded like an idiot trying to joke about sleeping through some of their parties (lately I’ve attended almost all of them) and about them being better than my old neighbors who used to shoot each other (partially true but mildly exaggerated–the shooting where people were killed was down the street, and the ones next door mostly yelled and threw things besides bullets at each other).  Of course, I know they probably forgot about it as soon as I said anything, and it was all sort of awkward because my mom was sitting at the table, and I felt like the description I gave of my old apartment was a bit more negative than it really was.  Anyway, I know my neighbor and his mom probably forgot about it after, but all of it was so odd I kind of panicked about it.  I know it wasn’t a big deal, and they will forget about it the same way one of my professors forgot my horrible piano exam several years ago.  It was something where I would freak out every time I saw her and assume she would remember, which is extremely self-centered, but I thought it was so bad she couldn’t possibly forget.  It turned out the only things she remembered about me were generally nice, and she was a fan of my radio show.

Lessons for today:

1. Don’t worry about little screw-ups.  Most people are so worried about their own issues and flaws, they’ll forget yours.

2. Even if you are a regular caffeine user, don’t drink strong or medium coffee later in the day.

3. Bars in grocery stores can be both hilarious and fabulous.

The End

I decided I am going to stop buying comic books.  I made this declaration before, but this time I mean it.  I don’t have a lot of disposable income.  In fact, the reason I have any is because my mom is paying some living expenses while I finish school.  Also, the one series that kept me reading monthly comics–Wonder Woman–hasn’t been very good in the past few issues.  The other series I read are fine, but they don’t have enough plot movement or personal draw for me to continue buying issues each month.  Another reason is space.  One of my goals this year is to downsize the amount of stuff I purchase and what I keep.  I would really like to keep the majority of the comics I have, and I will need another comic book box to store what I already own.  I don’t want to take up any more room in my mom’s house, and I don’t think my future home will be very large.  This thought applies to most books I own, too.  I want to keep most of them, but a few can be trimmed from the collection without major harm to my library.  However, I don’t want to be in the “chuck it all” frame of mind when I do these things, and stopping my purchasing will help me not want to get rid of what I have.

Basically, I feel like my personal stuff needs a zen cleansing–just not too zen.  I do want some stuff.

Messaging Expansion

I gave in.  Just two nights ago, I told some friends I didn’t have Snapchat and didn’t really like doing messaging services where everyone knows who you are, and now I am on Snapchat.  Too many people I know, some of whom live thousands of miles away, use it to communicate.  I am on Facebook Messenger, and I do use texting and emails on my phone, so I guess it didn’t make much sense to say “I don’t like messaging services where people know who I am.”  I guess I meant I prefer blogging under pseudonyms versus sharing every moment of my day with people I might see later who may be offended.  However, I learned Snapchat doesn’t save your data, and it is more of a “Buddha board” style messaging system, where your chats, pictures, and videos are deleted unless saved by you or the other user.  It is kind of cool.

Online Orders

Okay, let me begin by saying, I dislike ordering online.  It’s true, sometimes there are items you can only find online, but I prefer a store if I can find one.  If a store isn’t available, purchasing from an online component of a store with the option to return items to a physical location for my money back is my second choice.  I have still ordered from other online businesses lacking a physical location with degrees of success.  Most of the time I don’t need to return items.  If I do need to make a return, I am able to do so quickly and easily.

My overall experience with Zulily has been negative.  I don’t like them.  I have ordered from them three times, and twice their estimated ship dates weren’t correct.  I had to contact them each time to find out what happened to my orders.  Also, they don’t allow returns.  I price-checked some of their items to ones I found in retail stores, and their prices are the same.  Zulily’s prices are normal–not markdowns.  Yes, I know they show their products as “deep discounts,” but they aren’t.  Also, the inability to return products adds to the consumer’s cost.  If you like them, great.  Be happy and enjoy their services.  The only reason I ordered from them more than once is because I wanted to use my store credit for a sweatshirt I hated that didn’t fit.  As soon as I receive the last part of my store credit order, I am deleting my emails from them and never shopping in their online store again.