How to do it

Okay, I think I figured out how to overcome my stage fright and feel more comfortable with entertaining.  Once a week–eventually twice a week–I will record myself performing two songs.  I will edit and post the best recordings online, so people can find them.  That way, I will sort of perform in front of an audience, and I can monitor my progress from week to week.  My hypothesis is this will improve my abilities by giving me weekly objectives, and I will feel less self-conscious playing in front of others after performing in front of a camera.  Also, I will be able to view the performances and see what needs improvement.  Wish me luck!

PS: I will post links to the videos here with written progress updates.


My Piece For Today

I’ve had this sort of panicked feeling the past couple of days.  Partially, it’s because I have been off of work and school because of inclement weather.  The other reason is I am having a severe case of the beginning of semester jitters.  It’s happened a few times:  I start questioning my current plot in school or work, and I panic.  I worry I’m not really doing what I want to do.  I freak out because I feel like I’ll never break free of my current location (my hometown), which in itself isn’t terrible, but I thought I would be farther along by now.  My main problem is I have a lack of specific direction.  Once I start working on one project, I feel the urge to tackle three other, unrelated items.  I start feeling down about life, and I panic.  I try to find logical solutions for different issues, but sometimes I am afraid to act.  If I do act and try to find a resolution, many times I work on the problem sporadically because I never decide which issue is the most deserving of my attention.  I rotate from one to the next, never fully resolving any of them.  I have great ideas, but I don’t always follow through on them because I don’t know where I’m heading.

Working on this issue is one of my current projects.

A funny thing happened on the way in my door

A slightly unusual thing happened just now.  I found a letter in my mailbox reading “To Our Neighbor at [my address].”  I was completely baffled as to who would send me a letter.  I noticed it had a stamp but no postmark or return address on the front.  As I brought my groceries inside, I puzzled over who it could be and why they would contact me with a letter.  Did I play some music too loudly one morning?  Was it someone I saw occasionally as I left for work or school?  Was I being cordially invited to a neighbor’s party?  Finally, I looked at the envelope again and noticed the address to a P.O. box in Chicago on the back.  It was spam.  Old-school spam.  I chuckled to myself, thinking how silly I had been.  It was just a flyer, sent to thousands of unsuspecting people…

…and it made me think.

New Semester

First day of class, and I already feel like it’s going to be a crazy spring.  I have assignments for classes I haven’t attended, and I can’t decide if I have time to sign up for private music lessons.  Also, I am determined to use my bike as a mode of transportation, but I still need to purchase a bike lock and chain.  Good luck, future me!  Good luck, all you other continuing students!

Is it really so bad?

Is it really so bad for someone in their twenties to live at home?  The current job market is fiercely competitive and generally underpaid, and if you work in a full-time position, you still may not be able to afford a room of your own.  However, according to popular American television–one example springing to mind is The Big Bang Theory and Howard’s situation–if you’re over the age of twenty-one and still living at home, there is something wrong with you.  Apparently, you should go into debt renting or purchasing property, possibly with roommates you may end up hating by the time your lease is finished, in order to achieve “independence,” where your parents will probably still pay most of your bills or you’ll be in debt for life or working three jobs to barely make ends meet.  Living at home can be a viable alternative to going into debt, especially if you’re paying for school in addition to living expenses.  Granted, it isn’t for everyone, but I think looking down on people who live at home longer than others–especially someone working part-time and still finishing school–isn’t fair.  It doesn’t make someone a mama’s boy or mentally underdeveloped person; it means their current situation doesn’t allow them to pursue what others may have achieved.

Night Dreams

Last night I dreamt my neighbors took over my side of our duplex in order to throw a birthday party for their daughter and a wedding party for themselves. As a form of payment, the bride-to-be gave me a sex toy. It was weird. Not the strangest dream ever–that involved a mutating castle, flying, and talking old lady mannequins and a dismembered body in a bathtub–however, considering I never see my neighbors and prefer it that way (they leave garbage everywhere), it was odd.

Also, Happy New Year!